i'm leavin on a jet plane...

...well...not really. BUT i AM going to see ludo this weekend in austin! we were planning on seeing them back-to-back in houston then austin, but we decided we needed a break. so, we're leaving tomorrow morning and coming back laaaaaaate sunday night-which i'm not exactly thrilled about, but hey, it's all good. what can i say? i love to sleep! hopefully james and i can get to go to the zoo on monday and not waste our day off together! if not, we'll probably just watch will & grace or gilmore girls or something.

so. the making of this weekend has been entirely stressful due to finances, transportation (my brakes sound like a freight train) and scheduling. it BETTER be worth it! i'm sure it will...my favorite people, one of my favorite bands, and a day off of work/rehearsals. (which, by the way, are going NO WHERE! i have NO VOICE!) i'll blog as our weekend progresses...IF i find the time!

LUDO on cribs on MTV tomorrow! 330 i think...double check tho!

i'm working on a production of 'sordid lives' at stage door inc right now. i'm not so sure how i feel about my role, but i think overcoming it is going to lead me into the direction i'd like to go. idk. maybe i'm converting to 'the dark side.' don't judge. ha. i just hope i can survive, learn my music with an actual singing voice, and maybe actually one day make a decent profit from acting. psh. we'll see.......

i'm terrible at lying about myself and my accomplishments. even I know I'm lying! haha

i've been sick since legally blonde. i got the flu that weekend, almost a month ago, and haven't been able to breath out of my nose since! i think i've become immune to the meds...seriously. and i've got a sick kid in my class and his parents won't keep him home long enough to get better! he could shoot some mean spitballs out of his nostrils, if you know what i mean. i have a weak stomach. ew. it's sick. not to mention the kid who had the 'flu' and came back after one day! PARENTS-TEACHERS NEED TO FEEL WELL, TOOOOOO! KEEP YOUR KID HOME!!!

whew. rant of the day.

i just watched ANTM 12 online since i was at rehearsal on wednesday. i gotta say-this season is alright so far. alli is stranger than i thought. i've been her myspace and deviantart friend for quite some time. she's got some wicked eyes though. thalia is great. she just needs to work it. she's a burn victim-as a baby, she pulled a hot pot of coffee onto herself. sandra...ohhhh sandra. that's all i'll say. and a *gasp* PLUS SIZE GIRL?!?! ha. she's skinny. and really pretty. and dated dale e. jr. and from houston. i think she's my friend. or at least i'll pretend.

so i need to pack. meh. tomorrow. 'it's only a dayyyyyy awayyyyy!'

long time, no time.

i haven't written in quite some time. perhaps this is because i realize that no one reads this. or maybe because i've started rehearsals on Sordid Lives and stay busy. Or, maybe because i've become addicted to online video sites. yeah, that's probably it.

nothing really new is going on. just a lot of stress, money issues, and a cat that thinks he's a human infant. seriously. he sits on his butt and insists on fresh tap water daily 24/7/365. but it's ok. he doesn't bug me to watch cartoons or try to put forks in the outlets. so we're cool for now.

i have a feeling this blog will be about shaba. the cat's got me wrapped. i just got back from turning on the bathtub water. really. really really.

i'm watching little shop of horrors. :)

ok so. shaba. he has a camo bandana collar, his 5th colar withing 11 months. it's beginning to get frayed from his rubbing against the textured apartment walls. i think i'm going to wait a few more weeks until our anniversary to get him a new one-something expensive. something that can withstand his need to scratch.

not that you care. that's more for MY memories.

i downloaded firefox finally. i forgot how wonderful it is! just splendid. and i typed About:config into my address bar and configured the settings to true 30 false true and sped it up quite a bit! i'm just SO proud of myself!

i'm distracted. more tomorrow. maybe

I'm so 'sorey'

Okay. So. This weekend, while in Austin for Legally Blonde, I went on an 8-hr 'dress hunt' and started feeling like the air was piercing my lungs about half-way through the day. This feeling only got worse and I developed a little rattly cough. After the show (which was SO cute, btw) I got some cold meds and Cepacol (spelling?) throat drops, but nothing helped. I slept from midnight to 11AM-VERY strange for me. I'm ALWAYS up by 8 no matter what. I felt dizzy, had a muffled voice and couldn't swallow. I sat in a hot bath and let the steam hit my chest and back-hoping that would loosen things up. Then I brushed my teeth, which surprisingly helped quite a bit. On the ride home, I slept 2 1/2 hours. (We stopped for James to potty and get lunch.) When we got home, I slept more. I went to bed around midnight and woke up at 6:30. I called into work. One of the directors says I should look into getting my tonsils removed-I say "ZOINKS!" Noooo way! I'm so pain-intolerant! AND, being in America, I don't have insurance and couldn't afford the procedure even if I wanted to.

So here I am. Quarter past noon. Dying from having the feeling of having swallowed a porcupine. It's hades. I have hardly any voice, no appetite, and I feel extremely weak. I have to pay my eclectic bill today, but I ALSO need to go to the Walgreens clinic. I can only afford one. AND I need new back breaks. And gas. And groceries.

Why do these things happen at the worst times?

Any home remedies? Quick-fixes? Gah...this has GOT to end!

2 for 1 thursday!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk

when will it end?

So. I've been going through some stuff for the past...er...15 years of my life and I'm ready for a change. I realized this while at Dillards...with a butthead we alllll know...

So...to set this up...we went to look for me a dress for Broadway Saturday and wound up at the mall. I looked at Coach, as expected (THEY HAVE MY PINK SHOES NOW!!!) and then at Betsey Johnson. The watch I wanted was under $150! I really wanted it-but got talked out of it. THEN, like a fool, I let myself be talked out of a $250+ B. J. luggage set for $72! :( Why is it that I constantly listen to the advice of people who constantly hurt me? Why don't I get the picture? I feel like such an idiot and a robot.

I don't have any friends near me. I have maybe 5 total. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me. Then I realize, the only reason I have only 5 is because I'm selective. I'm hurt by uncontrollable things and other people, so I try to use my greatest judgement when choosing friends. It sucks not having anyone to spend my weekends with, so maybe I'll make a resolution to work on that.

I guess that's why BBC was never for me. And the churches. And the teachings in general. I think that 'religion' puts a boundary on how much imagination and wonder are in a belief. Like, don't get me wrong-If I was hurt and all alone, who says I can't wrap up in a blanket and talk to God like a person? Why should I have to use fancy phrases and 'heavenly father' and 'amen?' Why can't I make it what I choose? And I think I know my own heart. I don't have the money to buy myself popularity. My parents are far from missionaries/evangelists/preachers. I refuse to date around to create drama. My life is not a reality show. My name is Jenn-not LC. I have a REAL body and though it's not perfect, it's mine-not some size 0 skin n' bones crap. Heaven forbid I don't wear makeup to the gym! (or Walmart, or work, or whatever) Since when does everyone else in the world decide who you are? I guess what I'm saying is know who you are. Don't listen to other people. Work hard but remember that, in the end, it's just 'stuff' and it's just 'money.' No one says 'I wish I could have worked just one more day...' on their death bed.

I'm frustrated, so that may not make any sense. I refuse to apologize. Take it or leave it.

This is real, this is me.
--J

worst day of my life...ever

i'm not going to say a lot or give details or even make a fancy text. just know that if you are my friend, i need you now more than ever.

365x2=a LOT of stress, fun, and frustration....but mostly fun.

So...today I got to know someone's true character-and I did not like it. This was to be expected based on this person's in-and-out 'friendship' style, of course, however I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I won't mention anything further, as that would put me close to the moral level that they themself reached. I WILL remind you...think before you speak and be true to your friends. Karma is a...well, you know...and it's already proved true in this case. (Not that I wish it upon them...)

James and I have been together 2 years today. I don't really see it as anything big. I guess that's due to the fact that I already knew-unless tragedy occured-we'd make it. So, the day is here. We at Wendy's, both felt very sick (stomach bug...WATCHOUT!) and watch American Idol with his mom (not necessarily by choice, mind you...) But it's okay. Our first Broadway show is coming up on the 7th!!! Legally Blonde:The Musical! Can't wait! Just wish I could have seen Laura Bell in the original...but then again, I'd give so much to see Kristin and Idena in Wicked! Oh well...I'll keep an open mind!

Something else on my plate is my annual trip to Austin to see Ludo and night-after show in Houston! It's something I've been doing with friends for quite a while now and we've only had one bad experience, but it turned out all okay in the end! (Well, I think so, at least!) I'm curious to hear Marshall's replacement and to catch up. These boys are just...man...no words... GO SEE THEM! (please?!) :D That's in March. Then, the NEXT weekend, it's back to Austin for Spamalot! and to see Ha Ha Tonka and maybe Cruiserweight at SXSW!

These so much to do this spring! Everyone's always allowed in on the fun!-AS LONG AS YOU HELP WITH THE EXPENSES!!!

My class is going on a field trip to H.E.B. on friday. Joy. "...and here is the milk..." :(

My favorite boy's birthday was today...BIG 5! And he told his mom, "When I grow up, I want a girlfriend just like Ms. Jennifer!" :) I love it! So cute!

I am moving to Vermont.

Not really.

Sorry, my fellow Vermont-ians? Vermont-ans? Hm.....

Duck, duck.......
JENN!